Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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