why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
