he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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