Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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