My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
