he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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