i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
