One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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