I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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