I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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