That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
