Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
