My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
