hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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