all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
