ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
