help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
