sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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