If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
