I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The adults are the big ones right?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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