How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
