I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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