me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
