you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
