I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
