I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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