What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
