I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
