We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
No stitches, just platelets and will power
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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