Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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