he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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