We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
