3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize