our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
