Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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