You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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