is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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