even my farts smell like vagina
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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