I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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