i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
