i don't plan on having that self control this summer
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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