I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize