glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
