you guys were way drunker than both of me
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
