If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
it was like his penis was on wheels.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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