Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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