All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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