Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
