took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
a search helicopter?!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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