I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
