My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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