Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
