Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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