i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
