So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
