Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
