I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
