I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
