dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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