haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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