i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
