Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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