Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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