mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
