...so i touched it.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
