you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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