Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize