Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
