I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He did a backflip because drugs
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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