half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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