and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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