omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
