My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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