She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
