Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
