You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
he had hair everywhere except his balls
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
