I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize