I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
