Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have already put on my inside pants.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
